and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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