Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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