goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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