He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
