he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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