i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
