Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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