you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
