Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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