all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
