happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
