those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sorry about my life...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize