Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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