Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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