I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It's blow job season.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
