His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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