did you get engaged???
You're so nebulous sometimes
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize