i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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