My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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