Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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