Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My bed smells like the plague
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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