Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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