you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
