Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize