Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
