Tell her she can't have a vagina
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The air was thick with penises
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
