Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
