What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
