i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
