oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
