Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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