well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
