Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
