so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize