I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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