She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
