And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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