Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
