Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
