I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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