Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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