dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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