Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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