I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
where am i from again
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
