he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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