I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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