i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I lost the right to judge tonight
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
