I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
