I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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