i think i have herpe
just one?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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