He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
