it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
