Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
