Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize