Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This baby is an asshole
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
