Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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