Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
