I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
