You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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