I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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