Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We need a shit load of segways right now
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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