i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize