Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
